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Life Is Definitely A Bitch

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I’ve always heard the expression ‘life is a bitch and then you die.’ I’ve always had my reasons to give into the pessimistic view, but up until now I held my own. However, this week I finally realized that life actually is a bitch, there are a few things in between that and dying, but as a whole, it’s a tough one.

About two weeks ago I was kicked out of college after only being there for five days, only five! I was devastated, hell I still am. I keep asking myself what type of sick joke is this, why was this happening? The more I think about the past 2 months the more signs I begin to see, but who would have thought this would happen.

So now I’m stuck, disowned, neglected and just sad. I can’t even think about going back to a university until fall 2014, so now this gives me most of the year to get myself together. I have more free time than I know what do with, I think it’s time I get myself together and start new this fall.

Any ideas on what I should do to better myself, or do in my spare time? I have eight months…

Life has made a fool out of me today, but we’ll see about tomorrow. We will see…

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You can’t keep running away

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I’m riding the bus home, and I think to myself, the struggle. I’m use to the easy life, and until now I’ve never had to be an adult. It’s just so happens a friend of mine rode the bus too, some how we started talking about life.

Good things happen to bad people, I’ll never understand that. This friend started to tell me about foster and group homes, abuse, and being forced to become an adult before she even hit her teenage years. Jane told me how she and her sister were locked in a room for hours by her foster mother, how she tried her best to stay with her sister, how after being in foster homes after a year at age 9, she realized she wasn’t going home to her mom. When she became a teen she ran away 62 times in one year, she didn’t want to be there, who could blame her? When she said she accepted her life and stopped running, it brought tears to my eyes. I felt her pain.

It’s easier to run away from issues, but even harder to stay and look them in the eyes and accept them for what they are.

She’s 20 now, she seems to be doing well, rising above the odds.

What I realized is that everyone has a story and demons haunting them, but there’s always someone who has more to tell and more resisting than you. I need to always remember that.